So this post may be controversial to some. I'll apologize now. However, it's how I'm feeling and my questions and I should be entitled to my own opinion. So there.
Now, on to the good stuff. So, my hubby is active duty military. He deploys every other year for long periods of time. It's annoying as hell, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Well, lately, I have been thinking about our future. With him deploying so much, it's not a good time for us to have a baby. I want one. We want one. Just not right now. He will either miss the whole entire pregnancy and birth or miss the first year(s) of the baby's life. I don't want him to see things through video. I want him there in person. I know that sounds selfish. I wish I wasn't so selfish, but that's how I am, ugh.
Last night we had a chat and he mentioned freezing his sperm. That way, if he is exposed to something, it won't affect our future offspring. And, if something unbearable happens, I can hopefully keep him with me by bringing a child in this world.
Here's where I have a heart/head moral dilemma. I want that. I think it's a great idea. But I'm terrified. I feel like if we overprepare then we are opening the door for something to happen. I sound nuts I know. I need advice as to whether this is norm to feel this way or if I should just suck it up and let him do what he wants. I'm scared.