I love being a military spouse. I have so much awe for my husband- what he does and what he stands for. But I also hate being a military spouse. I heard a great quote last night that "if the military wanted your husband to have a wife, they would have issued him one." It made me giggle.
However, one of the worst things about being a milspouse is being apart. They say that marriage is tough. Believe me, I know this. But try having your marriage survive being 5,000 miles apart. I often attribute deployments as prison- I get about 15 minutes a day to talk to my husband.
This last deployment by far has been my hardest, both emotionally and physically. In an effort to take my mind off things, I worked everyday for 14 hours. I was/am exhausted. I would speak to my husband and know that he didn't love me the same as he did when he left. He had changed. I still often feel as if I'm not worthy of my husband, as if I'm only here because of an obligation. Like, we dated and the next step was to get married. I hate feeling this way. I want to feel loved.
I think the hardest thing for a military spouse to realize is, when your significant other gets back, give them space. I didn't, and it fostered the resentments he held. It fueled his fire. Fueled his hate. Most importantly, talk about things. Having open lines of communication are key.
So my advice? Take each day that he gets home at a time. You've waited this long for him to get home from deployment, you can wait a little longer for his head and heart to return.