With my whine of course. I'm sorry to the folks that follow me on Twitter, I have been such a whiner lately. Here is why.
1. I miss my husband.
I knew what to expect, as we've been through two deployments already prior to this one, but it's just something about this one that is hitting me hard. I don't know if it's now that we are married or if it's because I always was surrounded by such a strong group of friends, who, bless their hearts, are swamped with their own busy lives now (rightfully so!), so I'm left to fester on my own. All in all, I need to get out of this funk and get over it.
2. I need a job.
I have a job, but I'm currently on contract, so every six months they look at the budget and decide if they can keep me. I can't keep living like that. Also, I don't get benefits or time off. Luckily I am on the hubby's health plan, so that's good, but heaven help me if I get sick. I've got to work through it. And no holidays for this girl. I see no mula. No work no pay. Blah.
3. I have an outrageously, overpriced mortgage that is the bane of my existence.
Here's the deal. Folks all the time say, "if you can't afford the house, why did you buy it." Well, a couple things. I moved into it. My husband has been married before. The ex made $100,000. They could afford it. I make $30. You do the math. We are able to make our payments, pay all our bills, and all that jazz, but that's it. No food. No nada. We are basically left with $20 at the end of the month. And that is if I work a full 80 hours a week, as mentioned in #2.
4. I miss my husband.
Normally if I'm having a bad week/day/month/year I turn to him. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. And believe me, he gives the worlds greatest hugs. I miss that.
However, I'm trying to be more positive as of lately. So here is what I'm going to do about it. I met with the local community college yesterday to discuss options for joining the teacher program. That is something I've wanted to do, so why not make it happen. I've taken up sewing and knitting to take my mind off the negative. I've begun packing lunches and having breakfast at home in an effort to save money. I'm also not complaining to the hubby anymore. I want the next 44 days to be positive and happy thoughts.
So online community, if you catch me complaining, remind me I'm supposed to be happy, ok?! And thank you for letting me vent.