Are You There Blog, It's Me, Megan...

I've been MIA for awhile and it has to do with me not knowing what to say. I know, the queen of randomness. But it happens.

I haven't talked a lot on here about our infertility struggles. Mainly, because I just don't know how to begin. Do I just say, "Hi, I'm Megan and I can't have a baby?" Or, should I use more tact? Either way, it's a hard conversation to initiate.

With that being said, I'm having a hard time as of lately. I don't know if it's the fact that we've started IVF and the hormone shots are getting to me, or if I'm an emotional wreck just because, but I feel like a failure. Like, my one job as a woman is to have a child. That's what you're taught growing up. That's what separates us from the men. And yet, I can't do it. And it sucks.

My husband is totally supportive, which helps, but he doesn't quite get it. His thing i, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. He wants a baby, but he knows that, if in the end, we did all we could and it doesn't happen, then maybe it's not meant to be. He doesn't get this feeling that I'm failing, so the only one to blame is myself.

My question for you is this, for those suffering from infertility issues, how do you shake this feeling? Or does it never go away?

I'm hoping and praying like mad that this next round works and I don't have to even worry about it, but it's a constant struggle. 

Ok, end of rant.

On to happy things, like cats. Read this link and thank me later. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/kitty_pet

You're welcome.

Crazy Prints

Everything in my closest is basic. Sigh.I have such a hard time figuring out what colors go with what. I pair everything with black, white or ivory. I get nervous pairing pattern on pattern. Or, get this, I get the scared to even do black and brown, when I know it's the new trend!

Sometimes I walk into a store and think, "I never in a million years would have thought to pair those colors together!", but then I'm a big fat chicken and can't bring myself to do it.

Like this.

I own a blouse pretty similar to this Alice & Olivia one. It's in the same color palette. I never would have thought to pair it with crazy pants! I'm in love with this! Would I do it? Absolutely not. Do I wish I could? Totally.

I think this is the prettiest dress I've seen in a long time, but am terrified of the pattern!

How do you break out of a fashion rut? And, if you like pattern, what suggestions do you have so I don't look like a crazy person when I try them?

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

I'm really not scared of much. I am terrified of slugs, elephants, clowns, the dark, and someone attacking me while I'm home alone in the shower. Other than that, I'm fine! Although C does say it's weird to be scared of slugs, but apparently he has never seen Slugs: The Movie. Anyway, elephants I have addressed, clowns are just terrifying in general, the dark is creepy, and the last one scares the beegeezus out of me a great deal.

C and I live in the middle of nowhere. I'm serious. While I love where we live, I also get super scared sometimes. It's really dark and that clearly frightens me, but my cat Spaz loses his s*^* if he hears anything, so that is a comforting fact as well. Anyway, the other morning I heard a noise that startled me, but didn't think too much of it. I woke up, put on my glasses, and proceeded to walk into the bathroom. Now, I normally turn the water on and let it heat up before I get in, but I had a weird feeling so I pulled back the shower curtain.....

Raven being Raven. He is so bad.

When I pulled back the shower curtain, I don't know what I was expecting to find. And, had it been a bad guy, what I would have done. I realized after the fact that the bad guy would have just been more pissed, but at least I would have seen that bama ahead of time. Also, luckily for me, it was not a bad guy. Just a bad kitten who was bound and determined to get my loofah!

I removed Raven from the shower, since obviously cats do not belong in showers. As I'm taking a shower though, he proceeded to run into the shower curtain, and make it seem like there was someone on the other side waiting to kill me like in Psycho. Of course I was scared as hell getting out of the shower, but I'm here, so no one got me. Phew.

Now a few days have passed and I have reluctantly showered, but with my eyes open for shower intruders. However, I have wised up. Rather than leaving my shower curtain pulled all the way shut during the day, I leave it open. That way the bad guys can't hide.

Except for this guy....